The Iberian lynx, like any territorial animal, marks its territory with organic waste, but this Narbonic lynx (Lynx narbonus) prowling around Madrid has taken a major evolutionary step –it marks its territory not out of a need for hunting grounds, but out of a strong social consciousness bent on blocking unplanned urban development, the kind typical of savage capitalism.

 

This communist lynx succeed where all the environmentalist brigades’ pressuring of Madrid politicians failed: stopping the construction of the M-501 highway. Mother Nature not only knows best, she’s a socialist. And this despite the fact that Esperanza Aguirre, a friendly, kind and clean-cut woman (like Trini but smarter), most certainly loves animals. But when faced with a principled lynx, emotional arguments are useless.

 

Though migratory habits are not common in this species, our progressive minded lynxes are certainly capable of moving their areas of action toward Valencia and Murcia, taking on the crusade of sustainable development wherever it is threatened by PP politicians. Experts in feline doo-doo at the Ministry of the Environment are already searching the entire Levant coast for feces to justify the need to destroy the region’s economy. They are no doubt pouring over satellite images or on the ground right this moment. From there to suspending every local corporation from Castellon to Murcia is a simple, logical jump.

 

This animal is so intelligent it won’t even pass south of Despeñaperros to go to the bathroom. Thanks to this, golf courses pop up like mushrooms throughout Andalusia, with their corresponding planned communities, and without Nature producing any kind of alarm. If we believe the Spanish Golf Federation’s website, Chaves’ Andalusia, the driest region in all of Europe, has 83 golf courses, compared to six in Murcia and 23 in Valencia.

 

If I were a regional governor, I would find a lynx and give him a subsidy. Either that or kick him in the butt so he learns to do his business in the right place. I know the lynx is an endangered species, but so is Spain’s 1978 Constitution and look how the government treats it.